trollOne day I was working on a project and I noticed a new manager trolling around my desk. Now keeping trolls away has always been one of my specialties. When it comes to keeping trolls out, I've used a combination of tools, mean looks, and frank call-outs to keep those little suckers at bay.
VERB: trolled, troll·ing, trolls
VERB: tr.
Slang To patrol (an area) in search for someone or something:
Among the tools, my favorites are the headphones and the wall. Headphones are just the thing to make you look super busy at work. It either says, "Shh, I'm on a meeting" or "I'm really focused right now, don't bother me". If you work for a while with headphones on, you'll notice that people are super cautions about interrupting you...even the trolls. Even if the troll is nervous about responding to you, you don't want to ignore him. If you ignore him, he might walk in your cube and tap you on the shoulder. Eeew. That then makes it necessary to use the wall. Any type of wall will do. You can shut your office door, request facilities make your cube wall higher, purchase a cube door, or just put a chair in your doorway with a sign on it that says you're working on something for your boss. Personally, I use the cube door, and my boss loves it. Don't be afraid to state your boundaries!
Alas, there will come a time when you have to get out of your cube for a break, or a meeting...will he be waiting? If either of your two cube neighbors have left the area, he will be waiting. Why? Because he's a limp-dicked punk. He doesn't want anyone to hear what he has to say to you.
"I just want you to know that you're looking very nice today, and it is very much appreciated."Eeew! How gross. Only my BOSS should appreciate my professional appearance, and I don't think that's what he was appreciating. How about, "Nice shoes" or "That's a pretty color" like everyone else does. Something told me this was more of a habit this dude had developed over time and the words he didn't choose in this case told me more about his personality than the words he did choose.
Consequently, I told a trusted woman outside of work and asked what she would do. I indicated I would NOT go to HR about this because that kind of move has always ended badly for anyone I've known who did it. She mentioned that I was likely not his only target. Notice I don't use the word victim here. I am not a victim. I'm just grossed out and repulsed at this troll that won't leave me alone and to top it all off, I'm pissed off because I have work to do and I don't have time to mess with this crap.
One day, I see the troll-man sitting at our administrative assistant's desk. Our admin is an older Puerto Rican lady with a thick New York accent. I politely wait for him to leave and I sent her an email asking the man's name. And, as any secretary worth her salt would do, she tried work the details out of me. Like I said, I really didn't want the issue spread around as gossip, so I just told her there was a potential matter for HR, but I needed to know his name before I cold address it.
It was then that this Long-Island Latina let loose! I wasn't alone! She apparently had enough of his crap about a week before I said something to her and she told him off but good.
"You are way out of line, mister. A married man like you shouldn't be going around the office paying attention to single ladies!"
Well who though it? She was one of his targets, too! After that, the troll-man hasn't said so much as hello to me. I still have a lot of work to do, but now I don't have to feel so gross about a scrawny little married man passing judgement on my attire with naughty insinuations. Trolls out there, don't try it. My secretary will kick your ass.
(used from funnyjunk.com)
